Feeling sad and wierd

Hi Everyone,
Just need to connect....
i am feeling so completely exhausted at the moment...
We moved house 5 days ago and it was huge!

It's been 5 years since i'd moved and i collected way too much stuff..
We got rid of sooooo much stuff and i feel like it was just a huge emotional experience...
it all went ok...we are living with friends in limbo for the next few months...
it feels scarey and weird and i feel vulnerable today...teary...
i know it'll be fine eventually but as you get older i swear you seem to get a bit more frightened of change or something...even though i crave change at times...
this one is a hard one.....

I've been completely overeating for the past few weeks and it's been chocolate, wine, extra food non stop...
i guess this scares me a little....I've been trying to be healthy and generally enjoy it...
i keep telling myself it's just for now...it'll pass soon.
I am feeling vulnerable not having my own home...and it's all overwhelming at the moment...

Hope everyone is doing ok.
xxx

CHANGES !!!

We are in the madness of packing, throwing things out, sorting and moving house.

The truck comes this saturday...
We're moving in with different friends for a few months until we decide what to do next...
It's weird being Gypsies....
Life seemed so settled for the last 5 years ...kind of....
It's good to change...
Life makes you change and you have choices whether to fight it or go with it...
it's exhausting at the moment but i feel excited with the changes too.
I just got in to this course at work ...it's a mentoring program with the training organisation here...To become a trainer possibly?
i am currently teaching singing workshops after dark and loving it...We'll see what eventuates.
As for TTC it seems another month off is in order...without question...more time needed to deal with these other big things...
We want to be relaxed for our next go...and right now is too stressful.
It was a bit hard to make the decision to have a break but i am soooooooo glad we have.It's made the world of difference.
We had an excellent garage sale last weekend and have vreally got rid of a lot of stuff...
Old stuff, excellent to just get rid of it all...I'm starting to feel lighter already!!!

Hope everyone is travelling well
xxx

Loving the Break!

Hi All,
We are enjoying our break from TCC....
We've started packing and sorting and chucking old stuff from our house..
it has been somewhat stressful at times which is normal but we are managing....
i am actually feeling ok with all the unknown of it today...i'm treating it like an adventure...just taking moment by moment...

I'm loving being able to drink again...i havn't gone crazy but have definitely let my hair down a few times and it feels soooo good!!

I highly recommend a break to anyone who is TCC and feeling overwhelmed and stressed by it.

We decided against the country property as it's not really a sound financial investment....i was so sad the next day when reality kicked in but was quite proud of myself for even getting there....
it's a big deal to buy a place and we want to own in the country one day but for now city is the go...
We've actually stopped looking for a few weeks until we've moved out of the house...

Hope everyone is well
xxx

It's Break Time !!!

Hi All,
Yes, we are having a break....
Took a while to make our decision and it was a bit hard to let go but we are having a break from TTC this month and maybe the one after...not sure yet how long...

It's such a relief as things become more hectic with hunting for a house and packing things up and getting ready for this next adventure into the unknown!
Well we're already in that part of it...the unknown and mostly it's ok....

Can't stop thinking about this gorgeous property we saw in the country by chance...We have close friends who are buliding a house in Mirboo Victoria and we went to visit them over the weekend. The house next door is for sale.
It's gorgeous and would be a dream come true for us to own a property in the country. We'd go down every weekend just about. Di's a school teacher and has lots of holidays so it'd be perfect.
We would then need to rent a small flat in town for during the week.
Still trying to figure it all out but it's soooooooooo tempting....you never know???

I've never thought much about buying property in town as i've not really been able to afford to buy where i'd like to live....so we looked a bit further out at small units in the burbs and nothing much appeals yet......

a weekender is very exciting and would be nourishing for the soul and manageable .....

We could have kids running around playing in the mud....ours and the rest of the family's...what a dream!!!

Hope everyone else is travelling well
xxx

Maybe take a break?

Hi all,

Di asked if i wanted to take a break from IVF for a month or two?

I hadn't even thought about it before...however.....5 days later i'm seriously considering it...
Of course we're both gonna have a good talk about it over the weekend...I just need to sort it out here for a while....
It's hard to let myself think about it....you know once you're on the role of going for it....
Mind you it's been 3 and half years for us and we've had a month off here and there...

I guess i feel a bit unsure...i never thought of having a break....we have two embryos left...I'm starting to panic a little...i really don't want to go thru a stim cycle again....I would tho...but anyway....
We have to pack and move house by the end of August and it seems that having a break might be good....
The thought of going for this next cycle does feel a bit much...it's hard work....

I think i'm answering myself as i write...
The fact i'm talking about a break indicates it might be necessary...

I need to see the bigger picture too...that our wellbeing is important....and a month or two break may be just what we need.....we can relax and house hunt and move and yes i'm erring towards a break....
It's amazing how hard on myself i can be in light of how much we've gone thru...i really need to give myself a break...ha ha
In my head i'm saying " you should keep going no matter what" bla bla "time is running out" bla blah blah....
So now i tell that part to fuck off and let me be.....

Hope everyone is travelling well xx

Bummer!

Hi All,
Got my period on the weekend....bummer!
After shedding the neccessary tears and feeling like a complete zombie in pain...i rested....watched dvds.....and am ok....feeling quite tired......
Will keep on going tho'.....
We have two embryos left so hopefully it happens soon....
we are still house hunting which is a great distraction....am still doing my best to stay relaxed and i can feel the stress rising a bit which is to be expected when your whole world is changing....
We've been renting our house for 5 years...planted trees in the yard and really nested there....
It's a bit hard the feeling of unknown and being uprooted...but we still plan to buy a place....a villa/unit....it's all really overwhelming at times but if i just keep focused and let the shitty moments go it's exciting too...
How bizarre life is at times...learning to just' be' in the unkown of it all is the most challenging thing for me.

Making way for new things....

Hi All,
I'm still waiting to ovulate....i reckon tomorrow or the next day....
my cycles seem to have lengthened since my stim cycle...this is now our third go...
I still feel quite relaxed about it all....which is great...
i've actually been feeling great! just appreciating all the good things in my life and it's been helpful....I'm really enjoying teaching my singing course...we're up to week 3...I love it...i need to change my career towards doing more of what i love!!!

Yesterday we got a letter of notice to vacate our home....
We have 60 days to find a new house....
We've been living there for 5 years....
i'm a little spun out and am contiually reminding myself to look at the positives....Time for a change.....making way for new things...cleaning out the old.....etc...it's mostly working....
I'm an old stresser from way back but this time i refuse to buy into it!!!
The challenge is on...(with myself)
We are going to find a beautiful house to live in......and that's it!!!
I want to stay relaxed as possible for our baby making ventures.....so let's see how it goes...
i may fumble and fall but i'm ok with that...I'll get back up again and keep thinking positive.....