Waiting waiting

Hi All,
It's been a while since my last post...I've had a good week ...just working and enjoying some time off the pill whilst waiting for my period and last night I started the pill again...let me tell you I was up during the night.Every time i turned overI felt sick with nausea....it's so strong...and it's only the beginning of things to come...i had a restless night and like some of you out there i too have been waking in the early hours of the morning with unconscious stresses.
It's a constant thing in the back of my mind....waiting to have the sperm cleared....waiting to start synarel etc...waiting for a schedule to start the hormones....will i be able to function normally?....perform shows?....Can i book shows for the next month or will i be a maniac on hormones and feeling too sick and hormonal? Anyway i came to a conclusion after work yesterday when i was sitting in the back yard staring up at the clouds that i have to surrender......once again it's that marvellous revellation...SURRENDER.... i felt much better...
hope you are all doing well out there...see you soon xxx